The deed has been done

Well the deed has been done. I received the beating I asked for and deserved and I am now locked in chastity. I'm still trying to process it all. The day was full of anxiety. I texted Mistress letting her know I was nervous, frightened and it reached the point where I was borderline terrified. She wasn't moved. This reply was pretty characteristic of what she was saying to me all day:

"Well butterfly Suzy, you have good right to be. You asked for nothing nice and you asked the right person to deliver exactly that. It's going to go down as I am capable to execute. And in a role you will find hard pressed to wiggle out of once the hand is in motion. You pleasantly, for the first time in a long time, do not get to top from the bottom. I have no guilt to what I'm about to do to you. I am taking your ability to control the submissive side of things away as of today and heck yea, I'd be hella fucking nervous if I were you. Accountability is a long time cumming and you want it so bad you are chewing on its tail right this minute. Enjoy your bottom as it is now. You will leave a changed man at least from your butt's perspective. You need your bare bottom punished like a brat can only get. Stern, severe, swift and no safety word to get you out of what you need."

 

 

The thing was, I couldn't argue. I was speechless. She was right. I always tried to negotiate my discipline. I needed to be broken, I drove off with some serious anxiety resigned to my fate. I never thought about not following through because the simple bottom line was I needed this, no matter how unpleasant it would be. I have scripted every scene I've ever done. I've done scores of sessions with scores of different dominant women. None of them truly made me feel I was not in some degree of control. I was really broken last night. Control lost.

 

 

Here is how it all went down. Mistress ordered me to her bed. I was lying flat. Arms and legs tight. The ball gag I foolishly suggested was a particularly bad decision. She told me that I had a choice to make. I could call it off, or I could consent to a brutal beating that I would have no control over. As much as I didn't want it, I knew I needed it. She lit into my ass. in sets of ten. It didn't take long to know what I had signed up for. I squirmed. I moaned, I begged. My breathing got heavy. One implement after another rained down fire on my ass. This wasn't fun. This was real. Mistress Noir broke me. I was truly at her mercy. Piling on extra for my lateness and then more when the ball gag caused muscle spasms in my jaw. Mocking me for my inability to express much about my predicament being especially cruel.

 

 

It really wasn't fun. But oddly enough I know this is something I'm going to do again. I enjoy those long, luxurious, connective fun floggings, but I think I need to take a hard, cold, brutal one sometimes as well. When this one was over I felt a rush and an intense desire to kneel before her and kiss her ass, which she graciously allowed me.

 

 

Almost secondary to the intensity of that act is the fact that I am now locked in chastity to Mistress Noir. I'm almost a day in and so far all is well. It's a secure feeling to get hard in a cage knowing it is so limited. I think about her constantly. I don't think of the orgasm I can't have, I just think of her. I crave the accountability she has given me. We agreed to 21 days and I know she'll hold me to it. It is not going to be easy, but it is what I asked for and what I need.